


himbo more like himbard

by willowcat33



Category: Oxventure (Web Series)
Genre: Allergies, Cats, Fluff, Multi, eldritch magic bebe, happy borth to my best friend!!, tiny little smidge of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowcat33/pseuds/willowcat33
Summary: “We should get a cat!”Corazón looks up, blinking in confusion as Dob strolls into the room, arms wide in proclamation. “...what?”-Or, the Oxventurer's Guild gets a cat, with some unforeseen consequences.
Relationships: Corazon de Ballena | Corazon de Leon & Dob & Egbert The Careless & Merilwen & Prudence, Corazon de Ballena | Corazon de Leon/Dob/Egbert The Careless/Merilwen/Prudence
Comments: 9
Kudos: 40





	himbo more like himbard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bird_Of_Scarlet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bird_Of_Scarlet/gifts).



> birthday present t WO baby!!!!! enjoy this y'all!!!
> 
> no tws apart from swearing, and a vague blood mention!

“We should get a cat!”

Corazón looks up, blinking in confusion as Dob strolls into the room, arms wide in proclamation. “...what?”

“We should get a cat,” the bard repeats, stepping to the side Merilwen and Egbert follow him in, dragging what looks like a chalkboard into the cabin, with the words _CAT ACTION PLAN_ scribbled in blocky white chalk.

Prudence, sat on the bed next to Corazón, heaves a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose with a quiet murmur of "Here we go… Cthulu give me _strength_."

“We should have a cat because, _did you know,_ that we are less likely to die of a heart attack if we have a cat?” Merilwen informs, an excited gleam in her eyes.

"And they have the softest little ears and have the prettiest mews ever?" Dob adds, and Egbert nods gravely.

"They are both making _very_ good points yknow."

-

Eventually, Prudence and Corazón cave, and they get a ship's cat. She's a pale brown, darker tabby stripes and blotches of white mottling her pelt. Her name is Alphi, after their good friend Alfred Strangetide, and the whole guild is absolutely smitten with her.

She pads about the Joyful Damnation like she owns it, curling up for a nap in whatever sunny patch of the deck takes her fancy. She has soft, fluffy fur, and she's plump and friendly and playful. Her eyes are a soft yet piercing amber, and her tail is long and plumy, like a feather.

In short; Alphi Oxventure (yes, that's her full and legal name), is perfect.

Except for one, tiny, frustrating little detail. _It's not even her fault,_ muses Dob, as he grumpily thinks about his predicament.

Every time Alphi gets near to Dob, weaving around his ankles and meowing, he starts sneezing, eyes puffy and red.

_Shit._

He'd never even considered the possibility of being allergic to cats before; after all, he's not allergic to Merilwen! But then again, Merilwen isn't technically a cat even when she looks like one.

So Dob has no idea what to do. He loves Alphi, and she makes the others so very happy! He doesn't want to get rid of her.

As a result, he does what he normally does when he's worried; Dob goes to find Merilwen, to seek out her advice.

He knocks on her door, and she lets him in. Merilwen looks him up and down, at his puffy eyes and sore nose. "Yikes, what happened to you?" She asks, sympathy thrumming in her voice as she shuts the door behind him.

"We might have a small problem," he begins to explain.

"Okay, what is it?'

"Tiny, though. Really quite midget, utterly unimportant and unimpressive, more of a minor inconvenience than anything-"

"Dob-" she cuts him off, clicking her tongue and folding her arms across her chest. "- you're rambling again; you always do when you're nervous. What's up, buddy?"

"I think... I think I'm allergic to Alphi!" he blurts out, shoulders slumping in both sadness and shame.

_"Oh."_

"I'm sorry..."

She smiles sadly, wrapping him in a hug. "Don't be. You can't help it, Dob, so just help yourself and take care, okay? We'll talk to the others in the morning, and try and decide what to do then, alright?"

"I guess-- I just feel bad because I know you really wanted a cat, and I feel bad for ruining it."

"You didn't know! You couldn't have. So please, Dob, don't worry about me, okay? Now off you go, it's late, and you need to sleep. I love you,"

"Okay. I love you too," he smiles softly, tusks poking out from under his bottom lip as he does so, leaving his girlfriend's room and returning to his own.

-

Merilwen was right; sleeping on it has helped soothe his nerves and clear his mind. Sure, Dob is still very guilty and nervous about the results of the inevitable Whole Guild Meeting they're going to have to discuss it, but at least he's not so anxious he could throw up anymore! Little victories.

He picks at his breakfast, barely eating, instead just mostly pushing it about the plate instead, staring into his beans as one would stare into the abyss.

"Hey, Dob, you alright?" Prudence asks, a rare slither of concern slipping into her voice.

The half-orc shrugs, biting his lip nervously.

"Well, that's a _no_ then," Corazón jokes, even if it's hesitant. "Seriously though, dude, what's up?"

That's when Merilwen walks in, and answers the question for him. "He's allergic to cats, and he didn't realise, and now we have a cat and he has no idea what to do."

A slightly awkward silence floats over the guild, disrupted only by the crunching noise of Egbert eating his cereal.

"So what do we do now?" Corazón asks, brows furrowed as he thinks hard.

"Well, if you're allergic to Alphi but not Merilwen's wildshape; would you be allergic to a magic cat?" Prudence asks, tapping the end of her fork against her lip.

“I don't know, Pru," Dob answers honestly, sighing despondently.

At that moment, with a proud meow, Alphi comes trotting into the room, weaving around the guild member's feets, stopping to rub against Merilwen's leg and let her pet her, and eventually flopping down onto Dob's feet and purring intensely.

Dob just stares down at her, adoration and regret in his eyes. "Oh my gods. I love her so much you guys oh my gods she's perfection what are we going to do?"

"We'll make it work," Merilwen soothes. "We'll muddle through. We always do, don't we?"

"Yeah, I might have a plan," Prudence confesses, and everyone turns to look at her. "I'm not gonna tell you yet! Just in case it doesn't work, y'know? I don't want to get your hopes up, just in case.”

Dob nods, smiling sadly down at Alphi.

-

A few days later, Prudence tells him to meet her in her quarters. When he knocks, she calls him in. She's sat on the floor, pouring over ancient tomes, magical runes drawn into the hardwood floor in chalks and a suspicious red liquid.

"What's up, Prudence?"

"Hang on one second," she murmurs, not looking up. She finishes drawing a pentacle, and starts speaking an incantation- and then in a puff of smoke, a cat appears in the centre of the pentacle.

Dob blinks, confused. She sits back, wiping the probably-blood on the leg of her pants, smiling and looking chuffed with herself.

"What did you do?" He asks, as the cat stretches, opening eyes that are a pupilless red.

"Magic cat!" She explains, scritching its chin. "Pulled in a favour or two from good ol' Cthulu. You won't be allergic to Ellie!'

"Ellie?" He smiles softly. "Prudence, that's such a cute name for a cat."

"Yeah! It's short for Eldritch Blast!"

Dob laughs, walking over and crouching at her side. She leans her head on his shoulder as he cautiously pets Ellie. The cat purrs, butting up against his hand with her head, and for the first time his nose doesn't prickle and his eyes don't stream.

"...thank you, Pru," he says softly, relief flooding through him.

"You're welcome, darlin'." She returns, just as softly, before she starts laughing. "Oh, Egbert's going to flip his shit at this, isn't he? Here I go again, potentially fucking with his god's intentions."

Dob laughs too, rolling his eyes. The warm feeling in his heart floods through him, and he lets the tension fall out of his shoulders.

_Things are going to be fine. They always are with us, in the end._

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all enjoyed that!  
> please leave a comment if you did! it really helps me do more writing! and if you'd like to see more content like this, its also a good way!!!  
> kudos is ofc appreciated too!  
> <3


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